u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
