he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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