So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
