lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
