Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
