I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
