so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
it was like eating out sand paper
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
