Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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