Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
