If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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