dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
