But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
