I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
