Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
