So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
