Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
