wanna go halves on a baby?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
