he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
