i always forget guys have bellybuttons
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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