Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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