He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
