Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
