no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
