I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
