dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
