He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize