when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
