Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
