i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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