Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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