"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
