I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
