And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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