last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize