i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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