Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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