talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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