I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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