well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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