He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
