Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
