So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
