I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
