Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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