yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
