P.S. I can't hear my feet
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
