i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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