its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
