hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
