he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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