the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
