Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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