Me too!
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
