his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
