I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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