Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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