So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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