just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Barsexuality is the new black.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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