i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
