Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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