3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We are all done wearing pants today
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
