whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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