They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
